In an wonderful post, the author John Scalzi produced twelve standard responses to online stupidity. The list seems complete and covers most cases.
- I don’t care what you think.
- I didn’t ask you.
- No doubt you thought that was terribly clever.
- You’ve attempted logic. Not all attempts succeed.
- One should not have that many errors in that few characters.
- Either your educators have failed you, or you have failed them.
- I see you’ve invited me to an argument. I decline.
- It appears an asshole has hacked your account and is posting in your name.
- Funny, most people go out of their way not to be a public bigot.
- Cosplaying as a tantrum-throwing child is no way to go through life.
- I’m sorry that you are so obviously scared of the world.
- My attention is a privilege, not a right. This is all you get.
The Scalzi Generator
The project is a ruby script that can be run from the command line. It also contains a MacOS X workflow file that can be installed as a system service.
Visit my GitHub project page to see examples and download the files.